Saturday, June 15, 2013

General Maturity Changes

I will get to my blog topic in just a second.  First, some news!  Yesterday, Angie and Chris had their second baby!  Lol, and by that I mean that they got another dog.  Yes, that now means that there are FOUR puppies living in our house at the moment, but it'll only be until around the 19th of July.  Plus, HE'S SO CUTE!!  His name is Sport (it's the name he came with, and he was responding to it, so they didn't feel right changing it), and he's a 40-pound mutt.  We have no idea what breed he is.  What we do know is that he is very timid and scared right now.  Yesterday he did nothing except hide.  I didn't even get to touch him, and every time someone went near him, he would run the other direction and find something to crouch under.  Today he is doing much, much better.  He's still scared, but he's started to come out of his shell.  Angie and I have gotten kisses and been able to give him pettings, and he's started to come out of his hiding places and explore the house a bit.  He's going to be a great dog, and I can't wait to see what he's really like!

But now to the important things, like blog posts  =P

I suppose I should have given some sort of time parameters to compare our personality changes, huh?  Well, what I meant when posing the question is, "What has changed in you since college, and more specifically, since about our sophomore year or so (which would be Tori's freshman year)?"

For me, the most noticeable change doesn't really have one word or phrase to sum it up (unless Cassie or Heidi can come up with something, as I'm sure they could).  It started when I joined that dating site, I guess.  If you guys didn't catch on to this already, I have some serious trust issues, probably stemming from all the bullying I experienced as a kid and teenager.  Some of the bullies turned out to be people I knew as friends, so I guess some abandonment and betrayal issues were left over from those years.  But I went on a dating site...a place where I literally have no idea whether or not the guy I'm talking to on the other end is dependable, safe, or even who he says he is.  And not only that, but I actually went out on a date with one of those guys (well, more than one...).  Even as I was creating my account I couldn't even believe myself, thinking, "Oh gods, what am I getting myself into?  I'll be murdered for sure!"  But I don't regret it for a second.  It was a step in the direction of trusting people, and I'm okay with it.  Now, I know not everyone in the world is a good person - of course that isn't true - but I've slowly started coming to terms with the idea that not everyone is a bad person, either.

I have also noticed marked differences in the way I communicate with others.  When I was in college, I had a very rough time communicating my thoughts and feelings to other people, much to the frustration of a few of you, I'm sure, and to others (not among us) who shall remain nameless.  It's still not a perfect process, but the way I bring everything from inside my brain to outside my brain is much, much easier.  My thoughts are much more organized (mostly thanks to my journal), and can therefore be conveyed in a much more organized manner.  Communicating the important things is no longer a threat to my sanity, and this is very comforting.  But at this point, I'm begging the question.

I'm sorry if this sounds a little hectic.  Mom just got back from vacation, so I'm trying to listen to her catch me up while I write.

Love you guys!  Have good weekends!


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