Saturday, August 31, 2013

H'okay....soh....

Hey!  I miss you guys way too much, you know that?

Life has been a whole lot of just okay.  There have certainly been ups, but mostly downs, not that those downs are in any way catastrophic or anything.  Just kinda...eh...

On August 14th, I quit my job as a bank teller and, that weekend, went with Anne and her family to help her move into her apartment in Bloomington, Indiana.  That was a whole lot of fun  =)  Right Anne?!  We shopped, and put the apartment together, and shopped some more, and explored town, and ate at a REALLY yummy local bar...good times, good times.  The apartment, if Anne doesn't mind my saying, is suitable, and with Anne's touches, looks a lot like home.  It actually has pretty good square footage for everything she has, and it's close to a lot of important stuff (you know, Panera, Barnes 'n' Noble, the mall,...).  It was a fun weekend.

Then I had a week to kill before classes started, and despite my hopes that I would get some things done around the house, I didn't really accomplish much.  I meant to organize the kitchen, since Mom's been asking me to do it for months, but I just couldn't get motivated.  I managed to get the front closet cleared out and made into a "cleaning closet" like Mom wanted, but that was about it.

Classes started on Saturday of this past week.  Back when I registered for them all (i.e., months ago), I was so, so excited to finally start over and make something valuable out of myself.  As soon as that first class ended, though, I started having reservations.  I started questioning whether being a paralegal is really something I want to do.  There were a few days there when I was legitimately terrified, and my sleep suffered because of it.  Either I didn't want to sleep because I was afraid I would have nightmares, or I would wake up with a panic attack in the middle of the night, which hasn't happened since freshman year of college.  What I've been telling myself, though, is to shut the fuck up.  Right now, it's not about what I want to do, it's about what I can do to get a good job.  When I do, and I have some savings and disposable income, then I'll worry about what I want.

So, my life is going to be dedicated to finishing these two semesters in stellar fashion and landing a job where I can earn enough to finally be an independent woman.  Then there's the "three-to-five-year plan" I've established (kinda).  I want to start training in martial arts and self defense again, I want to get my Carry a Concealed Weapons permit (and, by association, a firearm), I want to take a class in auto mechanics, and I want to learn how to drive a stick shift vehicle.  Basically, I'm sick and tired of feeling like a helpless female, and I think these things will help.  Sure, they may change once I feel empowered with my new job (which, hopefully, I will), but right now, that's the plan.

Oh, and sidenote, I have to tell you guys this story, because I still can't believe it.  I have a class on Saturday from 9:00am to 11:40am.  The first class, I sat in the very back corner of the room at the closest table to the door.  This other girl walked in late, so I offered her the seat next to me so that she wouldn't disturb class by looking around for one.  I came to regret that very quickly.  She would comment under her breath the entire time, and every time the teacher would switch a slide on her Power Point, she would sigh exasperatedly, as if it was the worst thing in the world.  This morning, I sat on the other side of the room, in the middle row, against the opposite wall, thinking that if she came in late again, she would sit somewhere else.  But no, she came in late again, and disturbed class by wedging herself behind people to get to my table, and sat down next to me.  So then, she's writing her notes in different colored pens, right?  But every time she would switch, the pen wouldn't work, so she would tap it furiously on her notebook, or do that circling scribble thing to get the ink to come out.  When we got off topic, she raised her hand and began her question with, "So, getting back to what we were talking about..."  Then, at around 11:00am, she started getting really antsy.  Every time someone would ask a question, she would scoff, and she would make that "hurry up" hand motion.  She would alternatively do this, cover her face with her hands, and sigh as class continued for another twenty minutes.  Come to find out, she wanted to leave early so she could be home for kickoff of the Ohio State game.  *headdesk*  *headdesk, headdesk, headdesk*!!  I know, I'm just ranting right now, but she drove me crazy, lol.  It's actually a pretty funny story.  I just hope I can find some avoidance maneuver in the future.

In other news, the Geauga County Fair was this weekend, and Mom and I met my friend Jen and her husband Eric up there to walk around.  It was hot as Hades, but we had fun.  We looked at all the animals, of course (Jen and I were particularly sidetracked by the bunnies), and shopped around the merchant buildings.  Maggie, I think you would be fascinated by all the cows, lol.  There wasn't much there this year, to be honest, so I was a bit disappointed, but it was good to spend time with mom and with Jen.  We have plans for tomorrow too.  We're watching the first two Austin Powers movies  =P

So yeah, that's life.  I love miss all of you, and I hope your lives are going swimmingly!  I can't wait to read about them.

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